


Orange

by whimsicott



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Please approach with caution, This is a choose not to warn fic, Trigger Warnings May Apply
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 16:32:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3735859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicott/pseuds/whimsicott
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In retrospect, Jongin should have seen this coming: that his 'happily ever after' would have an unhappy ending. That the unhappy ending would leave him standing at an uncertain beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Orange

**Author's Note:**

> This fic prefers not to warn, but it contains aspects that may be triggering to some. I would like to say once more to please approach with caution. Also for those who read this earlier I apologise for the repeat paragraph error. Dedicated to my friend Roo who gave me the prompt for this fic!

"Shit!"

The loud exclamation was made in Kyungsoo's familiar voice, but it took Jongin a couple of seconds to register that despite the fact that there was no one else in their flat but them and he knew Kyungsoo's voice better than he knew anyone else's. 

In his defense, his lover hardly ever cursed and was hardly ever loud. So 'shit', said as if it would have an exclamation mark if it was written was not something Jongin was used to hearing in Kyungsoo's voice.

"What's wrong?"

He asked as he walked out of their bedroom to meet Kyungsoo in their kitchen. From the distinct smell of detergent filling the air and the loud clanking noise that their old washing machine had just stopped making, he knew that Kyungsoo had just done the laundry.

Despite that, the yellow laundry basket was left half empty with only a couple of dark coloured shirts tossed in alongside a pair of Kyungsoo's black work trousers, a stark contrast against the basket's obnoxiously bright colour. They had bought that basket when they just moved in together three and a half years ago from a budget shop, expecting to replace it eventually, but worn and slightly broken in places as it was, the basket was a resilient thing.

Most of the clothes pooled messily in the machine, but Kyungsoo didn’t seem to mind, occupied with the smartphone in his hand, holding down the power button, letting go, pressing it several times with frustration written all over his face.

"I accidentally put my phone in with the washing," Kyungsoo said as he held down the power button once more and even shook it for good measure. "It's dead."

"Let me see?"

Kyungsoo handed his phone to Jongin, but as soon as Jongin saw the phone,bye wondered why Kyungsoo even bothered. The sides of phone was loose and its large LCD screen was horribly cracked.

"It's definitely dead," Jongin said, handing the phone back to Kyungsoo. He frowned, feeling concerned. "This isn't like you."

"I know," Kyungsoo agreed with a sigh. Of course he did. Kyungsoo was always the organised one, the more or less put together one. Leaving phones in pockets and buses was always Jongin's thing, even if it was a thing that shouldn't be a thing at all. "I had a long day at work."

Jongin nodded as he walked over to the washing machine and took the clothes out, tossing his and Kyungsoo's dark coloured clothes into the basket. 

I'll hang these, Jongin meant to say but didn't have to.

Thanks, Kyungsoo smiled in response but similarly didn't have to voice. He stood there, phone in hand, and Jongin could see from the corner of his eye as he hung the clothes up, that Kyungsoo kept clicking at and gazing at his phone.

It was because Kyungsoo was the more organised one and the more or less put together one that he was harder on himself than he was with anyone else. Kyungsoo never allowed himself to make silly little mistakes even as he put up with and fixed all of Jongin's. 

When Jongin was done hanging up the clothes, Kyungsoo was still gazing at his phone. Jongin tried to smile reassuringly, although he wasn't sure if Kyungsoo saw it. He took out two mugs - a plain blue one for himself and a yellow one with a comical looking penguin for Kyungsoo, tossing in instant tea bags in both and setting the electric kettle to boil their water. They stood there, letting the noises from the kettle fill their ears as they settled into their comfortable silence. 

"It's one day before you have to leave too," Kyungsoo finally spoke when Jongin handed him his mug of tea. "Thanks."

"Yeah," Jongin awkwardly chuckled as he joked: "you really don't have to go that far to avoid me." 

Kyungsoo smiled back in response, sipping his tea. "I'm surprised you didn't mess this up."

"Hey!" Jongin frowned, pretending to be offended. "I can make instant tea, even if I can't cook."

"You say that, but you have put salt into tea before," Kyungsoo laughed softly. "What would you do without me Jongin? I'm worried."

Jongin had been chosen to go on tour with his ballet troupe for a nationwide Christmas special of _The Nutcracker_ with the company. While Jongin had been performing on their home stage for a year now, this would be his first tour and he found himself jittery and excited. 

But Kyungsoo had a point. Since they started dating five years ago, Kyungsoo had always taken care of Jongin to the point Jongin occasionally wondered how he had managed to survive without Kyungsoo before. 

"It's only three weeks," Jongin said, though as soon as the words left him, he realised that this would be the longest he would spend away from Kyungsoo in the last half a decade. It was odd to think about it and Jongin felt his hold on his mug weakening.

It was then that Kyungsoo held Jongin's hand with his right, and gripped it tight. Kyungsoo's hand was a little cool, but it was a familiar coolness against Jongin's own naturally warm skin. A comforting coolness he had always settled into.

"It's only three weeks," Kyungsoo repeated calmly to Jongin.

The same few words sounded much more reassuring in Kyungsoo's voice. 

 

 

\-- _the fact i smiled in the world you're in_  
_the fact you resented the future you saw_  
_the fact of your voice and warmth and everything you loved_

 

 

The new flat was in an entirely different area from his old one, but at first glance one wouldn't think so. It was all similar, these cramped urban high rises meant for young people with no children and not enough income. It wasn't far from bus stops and on sunny days, it wouldn't feel like a long walk to the nearest underground station. The main road nearby was lined with shops, budget chain stores contrasting with locally owned cheap food places.

"Not bad right?"

It was Oh Sehun, Jongin's long time friend and real estate whiz kid who arranged for Jongin to move into this flat. Who _insisted_ that Jongin should and it would be good for him to live somewhere new.

Jongin couldn't disagree. 

It wasn't as if he had lived in his old flat much anyway. It was because he was busy with dance practise for the June show and it was more convenient to sleep in the studio, he told Sehun (and also, himself), but if he was to be perfectly honest, he knew that he was avoiding the flat.

He couldn't stand to be there alone. It was suddenly too quiet and too dark and too dirty. It was suddenly too much like Kyungsoo's place and not their place together and certainly not a place that Jongin could belong to, not anymore.

Which was funny, really, because it was Kyungsoo who was no longer there.

"The area is affordable," Sehun continued on. "And they allow small pets. Maybe you should get a dog, you like dogs don't you Jongin?"

Jongin nodded along quietly. It wasn't as if Sehun had to sell the flat to Jongin anymore, considering that Jongin had already paid his deposit for it. He had only seen the place in photos though, and had trusted Sehun to arrange for his new living space. 

All that was left was to move in boxes containing Jongin's meager possessions. Jongin had decided to give things that were Kyungsoo's to Kyungsoo's parents to deal with. They were surprisingly civil and respectful with him when they came to pick those up, quiet and distraught, sure, but not angry and eager to blame like Jongin thought they might have been. Like how they always were when it came to Jongin and Kyungsoo. 

It was only after that did Jongin realise how little belonged to him. 

The larger items mostly belonged to Kyungsoo or was paid for by Kyungsoo: bed, television, microwave, sofa and all that. All the pots and pans belonged to Kyungsoo, as did most of the crockery. 

Jongin was left with the CD player, a suitcase and three cardboard boxes of clothes and books and photos and the yellow laundry basket. All of them fitted well into the trunk and the backseat of Sehun's secondhand bought Hyundai.

This was fine with him. The less of Kyungsoo he brought with him to this new flat, in this new part of town the better.

"It's on the third floor," Sehun said as they unloaded the boxes out of his car. "And there's no lift, but if we take turns bringing things up the stairs, it'd be alright. Suitcase last. Better to do that together --"

"I could carry them up while you wait here with the rest," Jongin said. "I can probably do all three boxes at one go anyway."

"Don't be ridiculous" Sehun scoffed. "It's a narrow staircase, they're heavy boxes, you're a ballet dancer who can't afford to be injured."

"Still," Jongin started to protest, but he stopped at Sehun's glare. There was no arguing here - he could try, but it would be a waste of time. After all their years together, Jongin knew well that Sehun could be so very stubborn.

The afternoon had been quiet: it was a weekday, a Tuesday, a little past two in the afternoon. As Jongin picked up a box though, he noticed a particularly tall, lanky young man with thick rimmed glasses and a comfortable looking yet indistinct black coat. He carried a dirty and slightly torn messenger bag with him and was listening to music on large, red headphone. Something about him or something about Jongin's mind made it up as if he belonged to the whole scenery perfectly.

The young man walked up to them and flashed them a friendly smile as he took off his red headphones to let them rest around his neck. "Moving in?"

Jongin nodded, he looked down to avoid having to meet the man’s eyes.

“Just him,” Sehun said. “I’m helping out.”

“Number?”

“Three-o-nine,” again, it was Sehun who answered.

Peeking up, Jongin could see the look of surprise on the man’s face.

“Seriously? That’s so cool,” he widened his grin. “I’m 308, right next door.”

The young man extended his hand to Jongin and, shyly, Jongin took it - the handshake was firm, and a little overwhelmingly warm.

“Kim Jongin,” Jongin offered his name softly in response.

“Park Chanyeol,” and the man offered his. 

Jongin committed the three syllables to his mind: Park Chanyeol, his neighbour, from 308, with an overwhelmingly warm handshake. 

 

 

His new flat looked little to nothing like his old one inside. It was smaller for one, for the developer of this building tried to cram in as many units as possible into the small strip of land. It was more of a little studio than anything else - kitchenette that lead to a tiny balcony, a green tiled bathroom equipped only with a shower with plain coloured curtains, toilet, sink and nothing else. 

But it wasn't as if Jongin was fussy. He didn’t need anymore than this anyway, not when it was him alone with his long practise hours in the studio, this was most likely better for him than the last. 

After all, Jongin had found his old place far too large in the last couple of months. 

Too large and too empty. Too unsettling in all its space and all of the memories they contained.

He had gone upstairs with one of his box and his CD player contained in his yellow laundry basket, taking his first ever look of the flat Sehun chose and furnished for him with items he said he had acquired for cheap but Jongin thought was still in good taste. A convertible sofa-bed, a simple dark coloured cabinet and a small dining table and chairs set for two. Most importantly Sehun had left space for Jongin to practise his dance, the only thing Jongin asked for when Sehun convinced him to move, other than being near an underground station and having a direct bus to his workplace.

The suitcase had been set inside, right to the side of the doorway was the only familiar thing in the place. Sehun and Chanyeol carried it up first. In the minutes they took bringing it upstairs, leaving Chanyeol's messenger bag in his flat, then going downstairs again, they seemed to have struck up some level of friendship over a mutual love for wandering around town finding good and affordable places to eat at.

Jongin went on ahead of them, wanting to see the flat for himself as Sehun went to find a place to park his car after being scolded by the security guard of the building for leaving it in front of the building for too long. 

He couldn't complain, he quickly decided, placing his box with the suitcase, his CD player by the wall that bordered the empty space and his yellow basket next to the laundry machine.

 

 

It was another fifteen minutes of being alone and exploring what Sehun had left around for him when he heard squabbling by his doorway.

"I just can't believe that you think Justin Bieber is a good singer," said a slightly familiar but mostly still entirely new voice belonging to who Jongin assumed to be Chanyeol. "He can't even sing."

"We'll excuse me for being a Belieber," came the reply - a voice was much more familiar to Jongin belonging to his best friend. That exact string of words said in a deep twenty five years old man's voice too, was probably unique to Sehun, at least as far as Jongin knew.

"Are you sure you're not a fifteen years old girl?"

Jongin watched the pair of them face off at the narrow door, his remaining boxes not looking quite safe in their Justin Bieber concerned hands.

He was suddenly glad that he hardly had anything fragile in those boxes, since the little he did, like CDs and photo frames, had been wrapped neatly in newly bought bubble wrap. Which, at that second, he trusted more with his items than his best friend of fifteen years and his new neighbour of fifteen minutes.

"You're such an elitist," Sehun continued on. 

"I know good music okay?"

"Jongin," Sehun turned to him, and Jongin felt himself shrink away although he knew he didn’t. Unfortunately couldn't, even if he wanted to to avoid being dragged into yet another of Sehun's Justin Bieber related argument. "Apparently your new neighbour here is in a band and that makes him a music elitist. What do you think?"

"What?!" Chanyeol frowned. "Do you like Justin Bieber too Jongin?"

"I'm more of a Michael Jackson fan," Jongin said quietly.

"Great," Chanyeol smiled, all of a sudden and then added jokingly. "I don't think I can live next door to you if you were a Belieber too."

Jongin responded with a shy smile. He tried to find words to continue the conversation, but little talks with strangers was never something he was good at so he failed at finding a suitable reply.

Chanyeol didn't seem to mind, smile unfading as he placed two of Jongin's boxes down. 

"Thank you," Jongin started. 

Paused, looked down, awkwardly shifting his feet.

"For helping with the boxes."

Chanyeol laughed.

"No problem," he said. He was confident and even his words had that same overwhelming warmth. "I mean it. We're neighbours now aren't we?"

 

Jongin sighed. 

It was fifteen past ten at night and he had gotten his dinner late at the convenience store after unpacking his belongings for most of the afternoon alone, telling Sehun and Chanyeol that he preferred this really. 

Although he could willingly admit to himself that the truth was, he was actually embarrassed at the messy way he had packed. He was in a rush - hence, the items in his boxes were stuffed in strange, nonsensical ways. Besides, he didn't want to trouble them further. Sehun had helped him enough already and Chanyeol was still practically a stranger. 

Jongin's definition of unpacking too, had been to stuff whatever items he owned into any cabinet drawer that had space and vaguely made sense. Shirt with shirt, pants with pants and the few socks he had he tossed in with his underwear. 

A box of his personal effects, he didn't unpack and placed it in the back of his closet instead. It contained things he didn't need anymore anyway.

In any case, apartment ended up cluttered and arguably confused, but Jongin was satisfied. It made sense to him somehow and that was good enough. His reward to himself for achieving that was dinner, in the form of a lunch box from a chain store nearby. 

Except they hadn't given him chopsticks and Jongin realised he had none of his own.

No chopsticks or spoon or fork for all of those had belonged to Kyungsoo too and Jongin had never considered how much he should really have them around even if he might not exactly need pots and pans seeing as he couldn't cook.

No, he might need a pot. He could do with one for Ramyeon. He made a mental note to consider getting one later.

For now though, he supposed he should at least go back to the convenience store to get another pair of chopsticks.

It was still cold at night, unsurprising for late February, so he sighed once more as he took his light coat off his sofa bed and headed out.

"Whoa, hey there."

Jongin was surprised as he stepped out of his flat, only to be greeted by Chanyeol. The tall man was leaning across the railing, and while he had turned to face Jongin, it was easy to imagine him having looking out just moments before. 

"It's hot inside," Chanyeol said. He was wearing a red long-sleeved shirt and the same pair of jeans from earlier that day. "And my washing's drying on my balcony."

"Isn't it cold here?"

Chanyeol shrugged. "I think it's kind of nice. You off somewhere?"

"Just to get chopsticks."

"At this time? What happened to yours?"

Jongin felt himself blush a little, as he admitted to what he felt was embarrassing to admit for a man his age.

"I don't have a pair."

Chanyeol blinked, a little surprised and Jongin looked down, finding it hard to meet Chanyeol's gaze as he said that.

"Just borrow mine then," Chanyeol said easily. "I have several pairs anyway."

Before Jongin could figure out exactly how to respond, Chanyeol disappeared into his own flat, before coming out just moments later with a pair of red coloured plastic chopsticks decorated with One Piece themed image near the top of it.

"One Piece?" Jongin said, more of a note than a question.

"Yeah," Chanyeol grinned. "You watch it too? Great isn't it?"

Jongin nodded, and nodded once more for good measure for there were two questions after all. One for yes he did watch One Piece, another for yes he thought it was indeed great. He gazed at the chopsticks, wondering where exactly sold adult sized One Piece ones. He sort of wanted them, because although Kyungsoo was a fan of Japanese animation too, they mostly had somber chopsticks in sensible plain colours. Jongin had never questioned that and never considered possibilities other than that in terms of chopsticks choices until he held that particular set.

And Chanyeol laughed.

Good natured and all that, but still. He laughed. 

And Jongin blushed, embarrassed and curious on what could he have done. If was making a strange face or holding the chopsticks wrong or something like that. 

"I'll take you to the store if you want."

He said, as if Jongin had something aloud although Jongin was sure he hadn't.

"How did you...?"

"You looked like you really want it," Chanyeol shrugged. "I could give it to you, but the store has choices, so."

Jongin nodded.

"I'd like that then."

"Great," Chanyeol grinned. "It's a date."

And Jongin was glad his flat door right behind him was unlocked.

Was glad he could use the cold weather as an excuse to return inside, although he was already feeling warmer then with equal parts of embarrassment and confusion on how to use all the words he had learnt.

 

 

Jongin was never good with strangers. 

He was always the token quiet boy in the library, belonging quite nowhere until Kyungsoo. 

Until Kyungsoo made him belong somewhere, somehow, despite everything with him that he thought was wrong.

Perhaps it was because Kyungsoo was quiet too, although perhaps in an entirely different way than Jongin was. 

He thought Kyungsoo was comfortable that way too.

And now he wasn't sure if he was ever correct about that.

Jongin dreamt of Kyungsoo that night, as he had for the past couple of months. 

It was quiet and serene tonight, a scene in their old flat with Kyungsoo and everything that belonged to Kyungsoo and Jongin's yellow laundry basket.

It was a picture Jongin fitted right into, comfortably, snugly, perfectly.

 

 

He woke up past midday with the sound of his phone alarm playing a medley of Michael Jackson songs. He had half the mind to turn it off and go back to sleep when he remembered that no one was going to shake him awake if he did then.

And for a second he thought that didn't matter. He had a bad dream yet again, he knew although he couldn't exactly remember what. Kyungsoo was in it. That meant it was a bad dream.

But as he glanced at his phone to shut it off, the alarm came with a notification: Appointment with Doctor Kim, 3:00.

The clock on the digital display itself read 1:17.

Shit.

Jongin pulled himself out of bed and was disoriented to find his surrounding to still be unfamiliar. He moved, his mind reminded him. This was a new flat. A new bed. No more sleeping in a cheap sleeping bag on the floor of the dance studio.

Right. Doctor Kim.

It wasn't that his appointment with Doctor Kim took place in a different part of town entirely. Fifteen minutes to get ready, ten minutes to walk to the nearest underground station (at least, that was what Sehun said and his phone map application seemed to agree), then ten minutes by train (again, Sehun, phone map application). It was tempting to sleep in a little longer, but his stomach was saying otherwise.

There was no food in his flat so he would have to go to one of the nearby places. They should be affordable - at least, again, according to a certain Oh Sehun. 

He really didn't know anything about this area, he realised.

But he had time to get used to it anyway, he reminded himself.

For now, there was Doctor Kim to see.

 

 

Doctor Kim, Kim Minseok was to put very simply, a shrink.

Visiting Doctor Minseok as the young psychiatrist prefer to be called despite his receptionist's protests, was Sehun's idea. An idea Sehun was so into he had physically dragged Jongin into his Hyundai and shoved the patient registration clipboard unto Jongin's hands despite Jongin's insistence that he was fine. 

Sehun rolled his eyes as he said Jongin would thank him later.

Jongin hadn't thanked Sehun yet, but he had been regularly attending his sessions with Doctor Minseok. He wasn't sure if it helped him at all, but there was something nice about those sessions. 

Doctor Minseok was one of those people who were quiet but had a rather soothing presence. Jongin wondered if he was to be given tests and pills and those questions about his mother just as he had seen in Kyungsoo's movies, but none of that happened. Instead, he and Doctor Minseok talked and eventually, they got to the topic Jongin had been avoiding all of this time: Do Kyungsoo.

And today, again, Jongin would talk about Kyungsoo's habits and expressions and the movies that Kyungsoo loved.

He wasn't sure if he was getting better at all this way.

He didn't know if he was getting better.

But he was apparently at least good at talking about Kyungsoo.

 

 

He first met Kyungsoo six years ago when he was sort of but not really Kyungsoo's patient. 

More like, he fell down a large tree trying to, laughably stereotypically, get a cat down from there when he wasn't even much of a cat person. He couldn't get the cat down, but he did fall and received a cracked bone and a concussion.

And apparently Kyungsoo too, an EMT who was dispatched to the case.

It was probably in bad manners to hit on the EMT staff on the job, but Jongin was dizzy and not in the right mind when he first saw Kyungsoo, full lips and large eyes and white skin. 

So the first thing he said to Kyungsoo was a slurred out, "you're pretty."

Surprisingly, he still remembered what Kyungsoo said to him before he passed out again. Said, with the kind of matter of fact certainty he associated with Kyungsoo: 

"You're pretty yourself."

One bouquet of get well soon flowers from Kyungsoo later, and they had their very first date.

 

 

Jongin thought of stopping by the dance studio after his meeting with Doctor Minseok, but he had taken the whole day off from work and reminded himself that he did have his own little space back in his flat now which he could use to dance. 

He bought himself savory bread on the way back, figuring it was the foolproof way to both return Chanyeol's chopsticks and definitely have dinner tonight, even if the cashier might forget things. It was what he wanted to eat anyway, he justified, he picked out a few prepacked sandwiches, bread for the morning and a couple of snacks. 

When he stepped out the sky was orange in colour, it wasn't when he stepped inside, he could have sworn and he was sure he didn't spend that long choosing out basic food from a line of familiar chain store choices.

"Hey, Jongin!"

A voice called out to him as he began to walk towards his flat.

Park Chanyeol, he recognised: a day, and already was the voice that little bit familiar to him. Enough, at least, that he could understand whose it was if he thought about it.

And even if he did not, Chanyeol, with his considerable height and wide smile and red headphones stood out in the crowd of the city.

Jongin paused in his step and glanced back. He waited for Chanyeol to catch up with him. The taller man had a guitar case on his back and his most likely trademark grin.

"Going home?" Chanyeol asked.

"Yes," Jongin answered simply, he fidgeted a little before adding on to his statement, realising he should. "You too?"

"Nah, I've got a gig. It's starting in a little bit."

"At six?"

Chanyeol's grin faltered a little, but he tried to maintain it anyway.

"Six thirty. We're really not the main feature."

"The opening act then," Jongin said softly. He had been to a few gigs himself. Kyungsoo was a fan after all, and he had gone to some as a date.

"Of the opening act," Chanyeol laughed weakly.

"I didn't even know they do that," Jongin said. He genuinely didn't. He was not an expert in the indie music scene; that was more Kyungsoo's thing. But he had been to a few - enough to know about how things worked, at least.

"The bar belongs to a friend so sometimes," Chanyeol stopped there. Jongin understood. "Do you want to come watch?"

Jongin thought about it for a second. He had to go back tomorrow, but he had to come in at eleven while this was a six thirty opening act of an opening act. Jongin thought about his apartment and his sandwiches and his lack of chopsticks except for the pair he borrowed from Chanyeol.

"Sure, why not?" 

 

 

The bar didn't look extremely well kept from the outside: a standard concrete building that wasn't totally indistinguishable from others around it if it wasn't for the signboard that read _Chen's_. Despite that, Jongin was rather impressed by the interior. It was clean and while not luxurious, well presented with a small stage to one side. There were already a few people around: some in casual outfits, jackets and sweaters as appropriate for early spring. Some were in smart work outfits, no doubt, those who came straight to the bar after work.

"New boyfriend?"

The man behind the counter instantly asked Chanyeol as he approached. The man had a cheeky looking smile, which was made even more so by the shape of his eyes.

Chanyeol laughed as he answered, completely cool about the question. 

"New neighbour. You know, the one who moved into unit 309?" 

"Oh yeah, you told me."

Jongin raised his eyebrow. "I moved in yesterday."

"Chanyeol tells me a lot of things. Like how you're a fellow 'Kim Jong'," the man grinned. "Kim Jongin correct? I'm Kim Jongdae."

Jongin nodded and took Jongdae's hand. His own handshake was always unsteady. But with Jongdae it was alright, largely in part of Jongdae's firm handshake. Jongin wondered if that was developed from him having a job where meeting new people was a day to day occurrence, a job that was very much different from his own.

"Anyway I should really go set up," Chanyeol said. "I'll leave Jongin with you?"

"Sure, sure," Jongdae waved. "If you're not scared of me stealing him."

"You think you're good enough to do that?" Chanyeol laughed as he left, patting Jongin's shoulder along the way. 

Even with layers of cloth between their skin, Chanyeol was warm.

 

 

Kyungsoo liked to sing, and at least to Jongin, he was a good singer.

"Maybe you should audition for a recording label, entertainment company, something," Jongin told Kyungsoo one day after a karaoke session in which, as usual, Kyungsoo sang beautifully while Jongin sang horribly. "To SM Entertainment maybe, you'd be huge."

Kyungsoo grinned shyly. "No way, I'm too old."

"Twenty two is too old?"

"Far too old."

"What if you audition to be a solo singer?"

Kyungsoo shrugged. "The money is in idols now isn't it?"

Jongin nodded. He didn't really know. The ballet company he was an understudy for at that period in time danced mostly to classical orchestra pieces and being a twenty two years old understudy wasn't uncommon. 

"I probably wouldn't be a good idol," Kyungsoo said. "You'd be great though. Charismatic, sexy lead dancer Kim Jongin."

"Sexy?!" Jongin laughed. "I'm far too awkward for that!"

"I think you can be plenty sexy if you want to," Kyungsoo said. He had drawn closer and brushed his finger against Jongin's. "Especially if they give you a cool stage name. Like I don't know. That manga character you like. Kai."

"That's too nerdy for idols."

"But it suits you."

Jongin sighed. "You'd be a much better idol anyway. You can sing. You're cute. You're handsome," he paused. He looked down embarrassed at his own idea, but said it anyway. "Your stage name could be D.O., from your surname."

"That's pretty lame," Kyungsoo smiled. They were holding hands by then as they walked and on the busy streets, no one seemed to notice. "But I really like -- I really like you."

Jongin held tighter to Kyungsoo's hand.

"I really like you too."

 

 

"I really liked that," he told Chanyeol in a soft voice as they walked home together. It was still early in the evening, but because of Chanyeol had work early morning and Jongin wanted a bit of practise tonight, neither of them could stay for the subsequent shows, the opening act Chanyeol's band opened for and the actual act that band opened for. But Jongin liked Chanyeol's band anyway. Their music was upbeat and happy, and Jongin danced to them in his mind.

"You don't have to go back with me," Chanyeol said. They walked slowly back together, Chanyeol with his heavy guitar and Jongin with his not so heavy plastic bag of sandwiches that were now a little lukewarm from the heater at the bar. "I'm sure the other bands could be better."

"I liked yours," Jongin shrugged. "As I said I want to practise before work tomorrow."

Chanyeol paused a little and let out a laugh. Jongin noticed his cheeks were blushed a little in a pinkish shade. 

"So you're a ballerino huh?" Chanyeol changed the subject when he spoke again.

Jongin nodded. By this point, they have reached the bottom of the stairway up to their flat. He didn't realise exactly how close the bar was from where they lived.

"Will I get to go to your performance sometime?"

Jongin smiled back. "Maybe."

They were at their doors by then, although neither of them unlocked it yet. Neither of them even reached for the keys in their pocket. It was as if the slowness of their walk defined all of their movements and muscles.

"I should return your chopsticks," Jongin said abruptly, unsure what else was there to.

"You know what? Keep it," Chanyeol replied. "Take it as my thanks for coming to my show. If you like them anyway."

Jongin wanted to protest. After all, it was he who was treated to a free show and even a free drink. He was the one who should be thanking Chanyeol, not the other way around. But as he opened his mouth to protest, Chanyeol spoke over him. 

"Really. I appreciated you watching. And your company," he flashed Jongin a wider smile, although Jongin wasn't sure how that might be possible. "Come watch again some other time?"

Jongin nodded. He found himself smiling a little wider than he thought he would. "Thank you. For the chopsticks and the show. I like them both."

Chanyeol laughed.

"Glad you like them. The chopsticks and the show."

 

 

"I'm sure I'll be alright to go back to work today," he told Sehun over the phone the next morning as he was setting off. He still felt sleepy, despite it being ten in the morning, much later than most people set off for work, due in part to having practised till three the night before. "Besides, I can't miss another rehearsal."

"You missed what? Two in total," Sehun said. Jongin felt like he could hear him roll his eyes over the phone. "I'm sure no one would question your dedication to the role of Sancho Panza in _Don Quixote_ if you miss one more day."

Jongin sighed. "I'd still rather go. Besides, what do I do at home?"

"Uh, read or something? That's what you do right?"

"Off to work?"

Chanyeol's voice greeted him as he stepped out of his flat. Chanyeol wore the same black coat with red headphones combination that day, but his jeans were a lighter shade of faded blue. 

Jongin put his phone aside to reply. "Did you just, um, come back?"

He remembered the night before Chanyeol told him he had to leave for work at four thirty, delivering newspaper. 

"Nah, going to my next one," Chanyeol said. "Is that Sehun on the phone? Say hi to him for me."

"Hi non-Belieber," Sehun said. Jongin wasn't sure when had he switched his phone to loudspeaker, but if Sehun remotely manipulated that somehow, he wouldn't be surprised.

"Good to talk to you too again, Sehun," Chanyeol said. "Anyway, are you heading towards the station?"

Jongin nodded. "Are you?"

"Heading towards it, but my work is past it - ten minutes walk past it."

"Ah," Jongin nodded. He awkwardly stood at his door wondering if he should offer Chanyeol to walk together, or if not, what should he say next.

"Let's go then?" Chanyeol gestured, solving Jongin's hesitation. 

He made it easy for Jongin to simply nod in agreement again.

 

 

"You're back!" Zhang Yixing, one of the other dancers exclaimed as he set his bag down the rehearsal room. "Sehun said you'd be off for a few days."

"I really don't have that many things to move," Jongin said. "I can't wait to get back to practise anyway."

"It was odd practising without you yesterday," Yixing said. "You’re hardly ever absent."

Except those couple of weeks a couple of months ago, Jongin thought. While the company had been largely understanding, Jongin had been trying to make up for it by not skipping a single day since and staying overtime to practise and clean ups. He preferred that anyway. He liked being busy.

He liked losing himself in his dance, because that was the only thing that hadn't changed a bit.

 

 

He met Sehun for dinner that night before his part time job at the community centre as an dance class instructor. Thursday nights he taught the elderly, a job he had to admit he liked more than his Saturday afternoon children class. 

Sehun wanted to make sure he was eating, he said, but really he seemed to want to make sure he had someone to go try a slightly pricy new cafe with. 

"So how's the new place?" Sehun asked as Jongin scanned over the menu again and again. None of these Western-Korean fusion food was familiar to him and he was conflicted on what to order.

"I've been there two days," he replied without looking. "Don't have much to say yet."

"Mmhmm," Sehun hummed as if disbelieving.

"It's true," Jongin closed the menu and placed it down before he could reconsider his decision on a dish that included rice and chicken and kimchi and yet five other ingredients he had never heard of before.

"No leaking pipes or anything?"

"No, everything is in order."

"And the area?"

Jongin shrugged. "Safe enough. Convenient enough. There really isn't much to complain about or much to say about anything."

Sehun smirked as he continued. "And the neighbour?"

Jongin tensed up. "What about him?" 

"He's cute."

"Go for him then," Jongin shrugged.

"You know I won't," Sehun rolled his eyes as if that should be obvious and he was right. Jongin knew Sehun won't because of his on and off but mostly on relationship with another estate agent, a rival from another company. "Besides I think he fancies you."

"You can't know that from a couple of hours."

"You can know that from a couple of minutes," Sehun said.

"Well you know I won't either," Jongin smiled wryly.

"I know you won't, not now," Sehun sighed. "But you can't just not meet anyone else ever again forever."

Jongin wasn't entirely sure about that.

 

 

The dance studio where he worked at wasn't far from where Kyungsoo was stationed, so he would pop over for lunch everyday. Sometimes, Kyungsoo wouldn't be there. Sometimes, he would. Either way it was on Jongin's route to their favourite place to get sandwiches and tea. 

He became familiar with the faces of Kyungsoo's co-workers and they would call to Kyungsoo whenever he arrived. He became familiar with how they teased Kyungsoo on his way out and suffered for it as Kyungsoo hit them back, perhaps a little too hard.

On their day offs they had dates, but all of them were more or less the same thing. Movie, dinner at a cheap place near the movie theatre and then Kyungsoo’s place because there was no where else they particularly wanted to go to.

Kyungsoo’s place was neater than Jongin's and therefore served well for tea, cuddling, talking, another movie on DVD and/or sex, depending on how they were feeling. 

Jongin found out that he liked the routine.

He liked being with Kyungsoo, he liked their movies and dinners and teas and daily lunches at the same place. He liked their regular, unadventurous sex. 

When Kyungsoo asked him to move in, eight months after they started dating, Jongin took that key believing it was to be the key to the rest of his life. 

 

 

It was hard to think that he would stay in his current flat for all that long, but for as hard to think of being anywhere else then. It was the perfect place for one and one was how Jongin could see himself existing for at that moment.

He looked at the empty flat still unfamiliar to him and everything felt eerily quiet. He never realised how much background noise the flat he shared with Kyungsoo had till then. There seemed to always be something, whether the sound of Kyungsoo's music or his own, the sound of cooking or the washing machine as it ran to complete a cycle.

Sighing audibly to himself, he put on the tracks from _Don Quixote_ and began to dance.

 

 

Chanyeol waved to him again on his way back from work three weeks later, trademark grin pasted on his face, favourite red headphones around his neck and guitar strapped on his back. The whole image of Chanyeol and his smile grew increasingly familiar to Jongin in the last few weeks as they met in front of their flat and the streets surrounding the area. 

Jongin waved back, in one of his hands a plastic bag of ready made convenience food and an awkward smile on his face because even though this was far from the first (or even second) time this happened, and even though Chanyeol was a little more than someone who happened to live next door then, Jongin was still an awkward person.

"Hey," Chanyeol greeted as he came closer. "How're you?"

"I'm okay," Jongin replied.

"Okay-okay or I'm lying because I don't trust you and actually want to cry okay?"

"That's not--" Jongin started, but found himself tripping over the next words. He opted for the easy way out. "I'm okay-okay."

It was the truth anyway.

"Good." Chanyeol said. "You coming to the bar tonight?"

Since then, Jongin had gone to the bar a few more times. Sometimes, Chanyeol would be there playing. Other times, Chanyeol would be there working. Either way, Jongdae was usually the chattier person, kicking Chanyeol off to work whenever he stopped by to chat with Jongin.

Tonight, though, there were senior citizens to teach dance to. 

Jongin shook his head. "Can't, I've work tonight," he paused but before Chanyeol could reply, added on to his statement. "I mean that too. Not can't because I'm lying and don't actually want to go, because I would really like to."

Chanyeol blinked in confusion, and Jongin looked down to shift away from Chanyeol's gaze, wondering if he's said something wrong. Perhaps flatly saying that made it sound as if he was lying when he wasn't. 

And then Chanyeol laughed and it was Jongin's turn to gaze at Chanyeol in confusion.

"I'm sorry," he quickly said, embarrassed. "I really mean it -- I wasn't making an excuse or anything--"

"Jongin, I don't think you are," Chanyeol thankfully noticed before he rambled on, flustered. "It's -- it's kind of cute, actually, how you said that so I --"

"Cute?!"

"Definitely," Chanyeol grinned. "Um well, do you want to come watch again another time?"

"I," Jongin stammered. The topic change wasn't all that huge a leap, but he hadn't quite recovered from being called cute. No one except his mother and Kyungsoo called him that. "I, er, yeah, of course."

"Tomorrow?"

Jongin nodded quickly.

"Great, and dinner after?"

"Wait --" Jongin paused and stared blankly at Chanyeol and feeling silly for being unsure about what Chanyeol meant. "Dinner dinner or dinner date?"

Chanyeol chuckled. 

"Well, it'd be convenience store food, ramen or Jongdae's awful cheesey nachos, so that's up to your interpretation."

 

 

They opted for the convenience store food in the end, taking them to Chanyeol's place because he was the one with more than one pair of chopsticks and more than one mug. Jongin offered to bring his own really, the plain blue mug Kyungsoo got for him when his previous one broke, but Chanyeol told him it wasn't necessary.

Chanyeol's mug was red with a cartoon giraffe on it, and he served Jongin's tea in a yellow one with a cartoon bear. Other than that they weren't anything special, and even in regards to that, Jongin could have sworn, even, that he had seen them in the same store he and Kyungsoo bought the yellow laundry basket from.

Not that he was going to complain. He sipped his tea quietly as Chanyeol talked about his job and then his music and then, unexpectedly about cats.

It wasn't that Jongin wasn't interested, but Chanyeol was so animated and lively and his sentences strung on from one topic to another effortlessly. Jongin listened and nodded and smiled. 

And he meant each nod and smile.

And when he finally spoke, one word at a time, he meant each of them too 

 

 

"So was that dinner dinner or dinner date?" Chanyeol asked Jongin at the door.

It was two AM then, and while Jongin was used to staying up to this hour, he realised he hasn't stayed out to this hour for ages. Even if by out, it was the flat just next door. He felt chilly in the night air - the kind of clear and windy two AM that wasn't particularly odd for spring, but felt unfamiliar somehow.

"I think it was a dinner dinner," Jongin said with a small smile. He still meant that smile too.

"Aw man, did I talk too much for it to be a date?" Chanyeol joked.

Jongin shook his head slowly. "I like that you talk a lot."

"Jongdae said I'm an acquired taste," Chanyeol said. He stood right at this doorway, arms resting to the side. 

"You’re,” Jongin said slowly, carefully choosing his words. “Pleasant.”

Chanyeol laughed. “Is it the food then?”

Jongin smiled back. He followed along with Chanyeol’s pace. “Maybe.”

“I’ll cook for you next time.”

Jongin felt his mouth opened but heard no sound come out, he felt silly, he felt more than a little lost just at that instant. He took time to follow Chanyeol’s pace but he lost it quickly. “So you want a date?”

“Is that okay?”

Jongin glanced to his side, despite there being nothing there but the narrow corridors of the third floor of their apartment building. He glanced to his own door, and then he glanced up to meet Chanyeol’s eyes.

“Um,” he started with a sound that wasn’t a word, and he wasn’t sure how to continue. 

Chanyeol continued to smile.

 

 

“I think a dinner date would be nice,” Kyungsoo spoke with a quiet and shaky voice. 

They had just moved in together for two months then with bathroom cleaning, dishwashing duties, laundry days and all the bills properly settled into their lives and bank accounts. Jongin wasn’t thinking of dates then, and by the way Kyungsoo hesitated when he spoke, Kyungsoo might not be entirely sure about it either.

“Do we have money to eat out?”

“No,” Kyungsoo admitted easily. “But I can cook for us.”

Jongin frowned. “But you cook almost every night anyway. How about I cook?”

Kyungsoo laughed in reply. “Jongin, you can’t cook. I’m not for burning down our apartment two months into us moving in here.”

“You’re being mean,” Jongin fake sulked. “But fair.”

“I’ll cook,” Kyungsoo said with a smile. “You buy the best wine we can afford.”

“You mean the cheapest?”

“We’ll watch a movie,” Kyungsoo continued. “And we’ll call it a date. What do you think?”

 

 

“Sounds good.”

 

 

Jongin found the words tumbling out of his mouth clumsily.

He wasn’t sure if he meant them, not those two words and not as he faced Chanyeol there.

Chanyeol smiled anyway, bright than he did before and the lights that reflected on the surface of his eyes danced.

 

 

That night he dreamt of a crumbling picture and the yellow laundry basket in the middle of it all.

He woke up in cold sweat.

Kyungsoo wasn’t there.

 

 

“You seem fidgety this week,” Doctor Minseok said. It had been a week since Jongin said yes to Chanyeol’s date, and although Chanyeol had been excitedly texting him about all these recipes, they had not yet to set an actual day for it. 

Jongin was fine with that, however.

"I have a date," he told Doctor Minseok, hesitantly.

If Doctor Minseok was surprised, he hid it well. His face remained in his perfected smile. His voice steady as he spoke. "And you're nervous about it?"

"I think so," Jongin said. "I think -- I think it's too soon for me to have a date."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's nothing big, it's just this guy who live next door to me."

 

 

He didn't talk about Kyungsoo that week. 

He talked about Chanyeol instead.

 

 

"I told you he fancies you," Sehun said with a cocky smirk.

The kind of smirk that made Jongin wonder why he bothered telling Sehun things to begin with, best friend status be damned. He frowned deeply instead of punching his best friend square in the jaw. "I still think it's too early."

"It's definitely not," Sehun rolled his eyes. "If he fancies you and you're in for this date, I really don't see the problem."

Jongin slumped in his seat. "I really don't know if it's that simple."

"It is," Sehun said matter-of-factly. "He fancies you, a date happens, if date doesn't go well, oh well," he paused, and continued only in the lowest mutters. "You'd still have me."

"That's a given," Jongin found himself smiling. "Funny you're telling me to get into this quickly, you were never keen on that."

"It's a date," Sehun said. "I was against you falling in love and marrying faster than a romcom protagonist. A date is different. I'll always support you dating. And getting laid."

 

 

"So what? I was gone for eleven months and you decided to get married without telling me?"

Sehun was still wearing the coat he bought in America then, his suitcase set neatly beside him as they sat down together at an airport Starbucks. Sehun's feature was graced by his usual frown, which Jongin couldn't believe he had missed in the last eleven months while Sehun went on his exchange program overseas.

"I didn't get married," Jongin said, volume dropping at the last word. "I said I moved in with someone." 

"Same difference," Sehun crinkled his nose as he took another sip out of his fruity frappe. "So who's this someone?"

"His name is Do Kyungsoo. He sings well--"

"He's a singer?" Sehun interrupted.

"No, he's an EMT." 

"Well why didn't you say that before saying how he could sing well."

"He sings well," Jongin emphasised. "And he has a sweet smile."

 

 

"I decided," Chanyeol annonced with his million watt smile the following Monday morning just as Jongin was leaving his flat. It was sunny out that day, one of the sunniest day Jongin had seen all year and it felt like spring had finally arrived. 

"You decided?"

"On what to cook for our dinner date," Chanyeol said proudly.

"Oh?" Jongin tilted his head.

"It's a secret. What day are you free?"

"But," Jongin frowned. "If it's a secret I can't help you buy anything."

"It's okay, it's my treat! So, what day?"

Chanyeol waited as Jongin thought. Technically, he could be free on many days. He had to practise, sure, but he could always practise after or add hours the day after anyway. 

But he wasn't sure what day he would be ready for a date.

"How about Saturday?" Chanyeol offered.

"Oh, well," Jongin wasn't sure what he meant to say.

He nodded anyway.

 

 

On the way back he found himself wondering down to a budget shop, one that wasn't all that different from the one he had gotten the yellow basket from with Kyungsoo years ago although it wasn't quite the same shop either. Despite the darkness of the night when he went there, his phone flashing the time as 9:20 in the evening, there was something still alive about the shop and its glaring fluorescent lights and tackling coloured items stacked awkwardly in the loosest semblance of order.

Jongin walked through the shelves, browsing through the various mugs and knickknacks. He was alone in the store save for a single employee and he took his time there, not looking for anything in particular.

He didn't find the same yellow basket, but there was a similar one in red. He didn't find the same mug Chanyeol had but there was a similar one with an owl with round eyes and a heart shaped beak.

"Excuse me," a college aged kid wearing a green polo shirt with the store's logo approached him. He seemed tired and slightly annoyed despite his polite tone. "We're closing soon."

Jongin nodded, he glanced down to find a stack of pots. Like most things in the store they're tackily coloured. 

He took one that was yellow, a colour just like his basket, from underneath a red one and took it home.

 

 

"I bought a pot," he told Yixing the next day during thei practise break. He placed the pot on his kitchenette counter when he got home, feeling a small sense of satisfaction on how it looked against his otherwise plain kitchen counter.

Yixing raised an eyebrow - or Yixing would if he wasn't so polite, so really, Yixing made a slightly confused face instead. "So you're going to cook?"

"I can make instant noodles."

"I'm not sure if that's better than your usual meals of convenience store microwaveables," Yixing said with a concerned smile. "By the way, your dancing has been different lately."

"Has it?"

"You're better technically," Yixing said thoughtfully. "But there was a time it was too technical, that wasn't like you."

Jongin drank his water wordlessly as he waited for Yixing to continued.

"I like how you dance a lot lately though."

 

 

The instant noodles packet crackled as Jongin tore it open. He had read the instructions on the back of the pack carefully, even though he knew it should have been straightforward with a familiar brand and the uncreative chicken flavour he had picked out. 

Still, it had been ages since he made instant noodles and he set the different sachets of sauce and seasoning neatly aside with the egg inside of his old, blue coloured bowl he planned to toss his noodle into.

He turned the stove up to its highest settings to let the water boil faster, impatiently waiting for it.

He hadn't really boiled water for food for a while.

He hadn't turned on the stove for a while - using only the electric kettle and the microwave.

And it was a strange feeling watching water boil.

 

 

"You really don't have to make my noodles for me," Jongin frowned. "You should be asleep right now."

"It's okay," Kyungsoo said. "I felt like some too anyway.”

Although Jongin didn’t argue further, he knew that Kyungsoo lied. Very poorly too, with how Kyungsoo opened only one package of noodles and not with how Kyungsoo only took out Jongin’s blue coloured bowl.

He sunk into their couch.

“I can make my own.”

Kyungsoo smiled.

“I want to make it for you, Jongin.”

 

 

“Jongin!”

The water boiled.

The water evaporated and the noodles were left dry, sticking to the yellow coloured pot he bought. His flat was filled with light grey coloured smoke. The burnt stench filled all of his senses next and he looked around the flat. Sound came last, the fire alarm ringing obnoxiously. 

Chanyeol had opened his balcony window to let the smoke out and the flames had been turned off.

Jongin didn’t remember doing that.

Jongin didn’t remember letting Chanyeol in. 

Jongin didn’t remember setting a pot on fire over instant noodles.

“What happened?” he asked blankly as the noise from the alarm faded away with the smoke. 

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” Chanyeol said with an uneasy smile.

“I was,” Jongin paused to think, although he found his mind still smoked up. “I was making instant noodles.”

“I can sort of see that,” Chanyeol said good-naturedly as he eyed the pot “Just sort of.”

Jongin glanced back to the pot. The yellow was singed brown then - in fact, it hardly looked as if it would’ve been yellow just minutes ago. The noodles, alongside the egg all stuck to it, messily staining the previously jet black inner surface of the pot.

He didn’t even remember cracking in an egg.

“I don’t know what happened,” Jongin confessed. He looked up at Chanyeol and furrowed his eyebrows. “When did I let you in?”

“Sorry,” Chanyeol's smile was this time tinged with guilt. “I let myself in when I heard your fire alarm ring.”

Jongin shook his head and returned the smile with an awkward one of his own. “You helped me, thank you.”

Chanyeol smiled back,, brightly this time, the way that Chanyeol usually did smile - without awkwardness and without guilt. 

The smoke completely cleared up then.

 

 

Jongin didn’t explain what happened to Chanyeol as Chanyeol helped him clean up. 

He still smelled disgustingly like burnt egg and noodles when Chanyeol invited him over anyway. 

Soon, he found himself sitting quietly on a red stool Chanyeol had near his kitchenette as he watched Chanyeol prepared noodles for the both of them.

“Not sure if you’d be in the mood for this after what happened,” Chanyeol laughed as he cooked. “But I don’t have much else right now.”

“I want to eat it, still.” 

"I wanted to cook something else for you,” Chanyeol replied without looking up from his pot. 

Jongin gave a non-descript hum as he continued to watch Chanyeol’s back. He let his words spilled out. “This isn’t the date yet.”

Chanyeol glanced back at him quickly then and flashed him a grin. 

“The and yet, huh?”

Jongin bit his lower lip for a second before he let himself reply, his voice shook under the weight of the words. “The and yet.”

 

 

“You almost burned down your apartment,” Sehun said as he gave Jongin a stink-eye. “That is a good apartment, you know? Took me a while to find and all.”

“Sorry,” Jongin said and meant. “I don’t know why that happened. Not -- not really.”

Sehun sighed loudly. He then leaned in and looked straight into Jongin’s eyes. “How’s it with Dr. Kim Minseok?”

"It's fine," Jongin assured, and then once more for good measure: "I'm fine."

"I gave Chanyeol my number," Sehun said. "In case anything happened."

"Because you like him huh?" Jongin said with a half-hearted smile. 

Sehun rolled his eyes - again in that characteristic Sehun way that Jongin swore he had seen more and more of these days.

"No, because you do."

 

 

Chanyeol waved to him on his way back on Saturday evening.

He waved back, a little weakly. The children of the weekend ballet class was always a little too energetic for him to really keep up with, but this week felt even more exhausting than usual.

"Are you ready for our date?"

"If you like your date smelling faintly like a child's thrown up lunch," Jongin replied with a joke that wasn't really a joke. 

Chanyeol sniffed the air around Jongin for a while before stepping back. "Probably not something to say to my date, but yeah, you need a shower."

Jongin chuckled. "Don't worry, I appreciate honesty." 

"So I'll see you at mine at say," Chanyeol checked the time on his smart phone. "Seven thirty?"

"Sounds good."

 

 

"Sounds good but," Jongin paused. "Isn't five a little too early for dinner?"

"I have night shift today," Kyungsoo said with a chuckle. "Deal with it."

Jongin exaggerated a pout. "I'll get hungry again at night."

"I'll make extra of my kimchi pasta, you can heat it up later."

"Spoiler for the dinner menu," Jongin laughed. "Though I do like your pasta."

Kyungsoo flashed him a confident smile. "I know you do."

 

 

"So I decided to go with my best dish," Chanyeol said excitedly as he let Jongin in at seven thirty sharp. Jongin's hair was still a little damp from his shower and he wore a blue plain sweater with dark coloured jeans. He worried if it was a little casual, but anything too formal seemed strange considering his date took place three steps away from his door. 

Luckily, Chanyeol went for casual too, with his loose red t-shirt and jeans combination.

Jongin stopped as he recognised the scent of the food on the counter. He smiled wryly and named it. "Kimchi pasta."

"Do you hate it?" Chanyeol asked, eyebrows knitted, worried.

"I like it," he said as he shook his head. "Reminds me of someone, that's all."

"An ex?" Chanyeol asked jokingly.

"An ex," Jongin answered with a small laugh.

That caused Chanyeol to freeze in a strangely cartoonish way, jaws hanging open in the middle of his kitchen as he took out plates. "Oh shit," he said when he started to move again. "I didn't know. This was a bad choice isn't it?"

Again, Jongin shook his head. "I miss kimchi pasta."

He hadn't eaten that since Kyungsoo. 

"Are you sure?" Chanyeol said in a somewhat panicked way.

"I'm sure," Jongin assured.

 

 

The pasta was warm and just perfectly spicy enough to Jongin's tastes, even though it tasted nothing like Kyungsoo's.

"You're a good cook," he said as Chanyeol brought out a can of cold beer for him. "Thank you." 

Chanyeol replied with a pleased grin. "I haven't cooked for anyone in ages, so that's good to hear." 

"Not for everyone who moved in next door?"

"Not all of my neighbour is as pretty as you," Chanyeol said effortlessly. He laughed his flirting flustered Jongin. "Or as cute."

"And on the other side?" 

"Oh, have I not introduced you to him?" Chanyeol said with a confused blinked. "My ex."

"Your ex?!"

Again, Chanyeol laughed. "We lasted two weeks before deciding we're best as friends and we've been like that for years. You know the lead singer of my band?"

Jongin nodded. He had seen Chanyeol's band performed several times by then, and if it wasn't for the fact he went on Chanyeol's invitation he would have instantly thought the lead singer was easily the most eye catching. A small, pretty, milky skinned young man with an attractive singing voice that charmed various others at the bar. "He lives next door?"

"Yeah he does, we found this flat together."

"When you were together?"

"No way, those two weeks was when we were in high school."

Jongin bit his lower lip as he raked his memory about his other neighbours. Chanyeol aside, he really only knew the middle-aged lady from down the hall, she was from Iran, she had told him the one time they went up the stairs together early evening. 

He hadn't seen Baekhyun around. Or anyone else for that matter, even if he occasionally heard them talking or see bits of light seeping from underneath the doors.

"It's okay if you don't remember him," Chanyeol said. "He's hardly home because of his job so you might not have seen him around anyway. Especially recently." 

"He's a singer?"

Chanyeol chuckled. "His other job is as a real estate agent."

Jongin smiled, amused. "Maybe he knows Sehun then."

"Sehun's a real estate agent?"

"Yeah," Jongin nodded. "He's good at it too."

"Maybe they're rivals."

"Maybe he's the guy from Sehun has this on and off affair with."

"No way," Chanyeol laughed. "Baekhyun has an on and off affair with someone too."

Jongin blinked. "More on than off?"

"From what he told me," Chanyeol exaggerated a deep frown. "I can't imagine Baekhyun dating a Belieber."

"Hey!" Jongin laughed. Although really, couldn't imagine Sehun dating someone who wrote music like those Chanyeol's band played. "Love overcomes music taste differences."

At that, Chanyeol blinked and smiled brightly. 

Jongin tilted his head, questioning. "What's up?"

"You laugh pretty."

It was strange how words like that seemed so easy for Chanyeol to say and so hard for Jongin to swallow.

He closed his eyes because it felt right to do so.

He let Chanyeol's warmth draw nearer because it felt right to do so.

And he let their lips meet because it felt right to do so too.

 

 

The first date he had with Kyungsoo they didn't kiss. He wasn't sure if they should and neither did Kyungsoo.

They didn't kiss on their second date or their third.

And when they finally did on their fifth Jongin opened his eyes after to see Kyungsoo flustered and mumbling something he couldn't quite hear.

But he didn't mind that. He smiled.

 

 

And they kissed again.

 

 

When they parted a second time Chanyeol was smiling, his trademark bright, teeth rich grin.

Jongin smiled back shyly and looked down, unable to meet Chanyeol's eyes but still peeking up to take glances at them.

"I like that," Chanyeol said. His hand squeezed Jongin's. Jongin didn't know till then that someone could be that warm. He felt Chanyeol's pulse against his and their beat didn't quiet match, his frantic and unsure, Chanyeol's fast but steady.

And yet--

"I like that too," he let himself set, his quiet voice trembled, and then he closed his eyes once more.

 

 

Kyungsoo was breathless by the time they finally parted properly the second time, and Jongin laughed shyly. 

"Why did we hold off doing that for so long?" Kyungsoo smiled back. "I liked that."

"I like that too," Jongin said, he was flushed pink and his voice was quiet and shaky.

But his heart was sure.

 

 

He never had anyone before Kyungsoo. Part because he was afraid to say he liked other boys, but mostly because he was afraid to tell other boys he thought they were cute when he didn't have a concussion from falling off a tree.

So Kyungsoo defined his first kiss, the shy and flustered, and Kyungsoo defined every kiss after that, the deep and quiet and solid. Kyungsoo's kisses were loving in the most unshakeable way, just like the way Jongin thought Kyungsoo was exactly like. Like Kyungsoo's skin, they were a little but cool, but together with Jongin's they turned into the perfect temperature. 

Chanyeol's kisses were warm. On Jongin's skin, they felt overwhelmingly so.

Still, Jongin took another between their talk on beer, and another a few words later. Each grew in their intensity and Jongin was scared for a while that he would burn under them.

But he took them all anyway, even as he ended up breathless from them and have forgotten all the words he said that night by the time the clock struck twelve.

"I should go home," Jongin said.

"So you're cinderella?" Chanyeol joked.

"I have to practise," Jongin replied. He was still shaky from all the kisses and his cheeks still found his skin basked in warmth and his breath irregular. "But I appreciate the food."

"Just the food?"

"I didn't say that!"

"I know you didn't."

Jongin fake pouted and Chanyeol laughed.

"Should I walk you home?"

"We're already at my front door."

"True," Chanyeol said as he glanced at Jongin's door. "So do I get a goodbye kiss?"

All of Jongin's movements were hesitant and slow, even his nod. 

Even more so his kiss.

 

 

When the doors closed behind him he gazed at his empty flat. The sound from his surrounding seemed to loud yet not loud enough - the barking of a dog and the laughter of a few weekend party goers. 

In his flat though it was silent except for the beating of his heart. 

Abruptly and frantically, he took off his sweater and tossed it into his yellow laundry basket. He was breathless as he turned on his music.

 

 

He was too shy to dance in front of Kyungsoo when they first moved in together, staying out till late in the nearby studio he part timed at back then instead. 

"You know," Kyungsoo said one night. "We do have space here."

Jongin shrugged. "It's a nice flat."

"I mean you can practise here."

He had been hoping that Kyungsoo wouldn't bring that up.

"It's fine in the studio," he lied, because he could only afford it with a group and he wasn't always fond of practising not quite perfect dances with too small a space. 

Kyungsoo sighed. "Alright what's wrong with me being here?"

"Nothing," Jongin said quickly. Too quickly. Kyungsoo eyed him suspiciously in silence until he gave in and spoke. "Okay, I'm nervous."

"I've seen you dance before."

"On stage," Jongin frowned. "This is different."

"How is it different?" Kyungsoo crossed his arms.

Jongin shuffled his feet. "It's not right. Yet."

Kyungsoo gave an amused smiled. "That's it?"

"It's not 'that's it'," Jongin sulked. "It's not a good dance. Well no, it is but I'm not good enough for it."

"Silly," Kyungsoo said. He leaned in and kissed Jongin on the forehead. "You're always good to me."

"You're silly," Jongin argued back weakly and childishly. "I don't know."

"We're going to be living together," Kyungsoo assured. His hand held Jongin's tightly. "You should be comfortable here. With me."

Jongin bit his lower lip and nodded. "I'll try."

 

 

Jongin gave a ticket to _Don Quixote_ to Sehun the next week. It was well in advance for the opening night in June, but each dancer always get two to give to their friends before it goes on sale. They were never very good seats - not unless they're for family of the prima ballerina or the conductor or someone else of that importance. 

The role of Sancho Panza wasn't of that level of importance.

"Don Quixote's almost ready huh?" Sehun eyed the ticket before putting it in a zipped compartment of his wallet. "You feel good about it?"

Jongin shrugged. "It's okay."

"You always say that," Sehun hummed unimpressed. "Inviting Chanyeol?"

"I'm," Jongin paused. "I'm not sure."

"You don't really have anyone to give it to right? Your family always insist on buying."

"VIP seats," Jongin said, he gave a slight fond smile at the thought. His family didn't live in town, so while they never came for opening night. They did always go eventually and even paid for the best seats in the house to support him and the company.

"Exactly," Sehun said. "So Chanyeol?"

"I haven't decided."

It would have been Kyungsoo's ticket, Jongin thought. He fiddled with it, a weightless paper in his hand that somehow felt a little heavier than it should.

It couldn't be Kyungsoo's ticket now, Jongin thought.

And he should be over that, he knew.

 

 

"So," Chanyeol sat by him at the bar. His band had just finished playing and Jongin watched as they had one last talk before splitting up to meet other friends around the bar. "How's the show?"

"I liked it," Jongin answered. Jongin always answered, truthfully. 

Chanyeol always asked and Chanyeol always accepted his answer with his smile.

"I don't want to push you but," Chanyeol grinned sheepishly as he looked up from his mostly full drink. "I'm wondering if I get a second date."

"This doesn't count?" Jongin teased.

" _Chen's_? That doesn't really count as a date spot."

"Music's pretty romantic today."

The band after Chanyeol's played a sweet mellow pop song with cheesy lyrics, but there were a few intimate looking dancing couples in the floor, including Chanyeol's bandmate Baekhyun and a tall, thin man.

"You want to dance to it?"

Jongin shook his head. "Not here."

He would dance to it if he was alone.

"Why not? It can't be stage fright --" Chanyeol paused as he watched Jongin's embarrassed expression. His eyes widening as he realised. "It is stage fright."

Jongin kept his head down as he nodded quickly.

"But how? I mean, you're a pro."

"That's rehearsed. Practised. This one is," Jongin gestured nonsensically with his hand. Even he wasn't sure what he meant. "This one is not."

"I'm sure you'd still the best one in the room."

"It's not about that," Jongin said. "It's just - I don't know if I'd be the best one for myself."

"You're too hard on yourself," Chanyeol said, but pursed his lips together, eyebrows furrowed - he thought about what Jongin said further and nodded in understanding. 

"I'll show you some other time," Jongin said quickly. 

"Really?"

"Yeah," Jongin said reluctantly, then. But it was too late, he couldn't go back on that now.

"I'll get their CD then!" Chanyeol cheerfully announced. Jongin watched his back melded into the crowd as he went to the stage area to buy the CD from one of the band's friends who was selling there.

It can't be too bad, Jongin told himself. He gulped down his Guinness. Or it could.

 

 

The first time Kyungsoo came home late at night to Jongin practising, Jongin quickly stopped and rushed over to turn off the music.

"Welcome back," Jongin greeted, he stood awkwardly unsure where his arms or legs should go in that moment.

Kyungsoo looked exhausted, and his smile was forced. "Why did you stop."

"Um," Jongin started, but didn't know what to say.

Kyungsoo walked over to him then and kissed Jongin's bare shoulder. He held Jongin's hands and gripped it tight, his head leaning on to Jongin's shoulder. 

"Dance for me? Please Jongin?"

Jongin couldn't say no. 

 

 

When Chanyeol said hi to him the next morning, Jongin had half a mind to give him the ticket. 

But Jongin didn't, letting the weight of it sink in the worn out wallet tucked in his pocket.

 

 

"The Botanical Gardens?" 

 

 

"Yeah, what do you think of that for our next date?" Chanyeol asked on their way back from the bar one day. 

Their fingers were barely brushing against each others', but Jongin liked this somehow. He felt close enough to Chanyeol to feel his warmth but not too close that he would steal his air.

"Won't it still be cold?"

"I suppose, but it's spring! Flowers are blooming!"

Jongin smiled. "I do want to see those famous yellow ones I kept hearing about."

 

 

"There was an accident there today," Kyungsoo said. "Near those famous yellow flowers, do you know which one I meant?"

Jongin nodded, although he didn't. He didn't want Kyungsoo to stop talking. After all, Kyungsoo hardly ever talked to him about his work no matter how distraught he seemed about it.

That day was among the worst that Jongin had seen.

"There was this truck that was carrying fertiliser," Kyungsoo continued, his voice shook and his lips trembled. His entire body trembled. And there was this child - God, I can't."

Soundlessly, Jongin reached out for Kyungsoo - but Kyungsoo drew away from him instead.

"Sorry Jongin, I shouldn't be telling you this," Kyungsoo smiled uneasily. He reached out to his bag to pull out a small bottle, clear but tinted an ugly, medical shade of yellowish brown. I'm going to sleep first, okay?"

"Okay," Jongin said, unsure of what else he could say. "Do you need me for anything?"

"It's - it's okay, thank you," Kyungsoo paused to stand, but continued quietly with what seemed to be afterthought. "I love you."

"I love you too," Jongin replied automatically.

Yet he had always meant it, each and every time.

 

 

The cobblestone path near the yellow flowers was quiet. It was wide path, Jongin realised - definitely enough for a truck - but that cloudy day there was no truck and no children.

It was just him and Chanyeol.

"There was an accident here a few years ago," Chanyeol said. "You wouldn't have guessed it with how it is here now."

"Yeah," Jongin said. He closed his eyes to try to shake off memories that wasn't his.

This place belonged to Kyungsoo too.

"Let's go somewhere else," Jongin said. 

Chanyeol tilted his head, confused. "Didn't you want to see these flowers?"

Jongin took Chanyeol's hand, a sad smile forming on his lips. "I've seen enough of them."

Chanyeol's hand felt warm and firm as they held his back. Jongin laughed.

"Take me somewhere nice." 

Chanyeol laughed and kissed Jongin's forehead tenderly.

"Okay," he said. "Do you want to see those famous red ones instead then?"

Jongin nodded and let his steps followed Chanyeol's.

 

 

"You still haven't given him the ticket?"

Jongin shook his head. Sehun glared at him while still drinking through the thick straw for his bubble tea. It was one of their weekly meetings of which Sehun wanted street food and street drink. Jongin always appreciated that, but even more so lately with his various dates with Chanyeol taking bits off his income.

"You are so frustrating," Sehun said.

"Sorry," Jongin said. "I'm just not sure."

"You seriously took him to that place but hesitate to give him a ticket to your ballet recital?" Sehun ranted on. "You can't save that ticket for Kyungsoo."

The mention of Kyungsoo's name surprised Jongin.

He hadn't heard it said in anyone else's voice but his own in months. 

"Kyungsoo," Sehun said as he looked straight into Jongin's eyes, slowly, he emphasised each and every letter of the name as he had read Jongin's surprise. "Kyungsoo is gone."

His voice trembled, his lips trembled, his shoulders shook. 

"I know."

 

 

"What happened?"

Chanyeol seemed concerned the next morning when they met at the door. 

As much as Jongin knew he couldn't hide his puffy eyes, he made and effort to give a 'it's nothing' sort of smile anyway.

"Do you want to hold my hand until the station today?" 

Despite his confused look, despite all the questions he could have asked,,Chanyeol asked that instead.

Jongin took his offer.

 

 

"I almost forgot," Chanyeol said as he held up a CD. Jongin recognised it right away as being that of the band they saw in the bar that one night - a cheaply made thing using artsy looking photos of nature and a stock sketch of a bird. "Are you still going to dance for me?"

"I was hoping you did forget," Jongin muttered half-jokingly.

"Never," Chanyeol grinned. "So when would you be free? Saturday evening again?

"Yeah, that'd be good."

"I'm excited," Chanyeol said, his tone, his grin, all spelled out the sentiment with his words.

 

 

The music was slightly different from how it was in the bar, but the beat felt the same and familiar. Chanyeol's eager eyes on him though, was the most nerve wrecking bit.

He closed his eyes and tried to not think.

And then, he danced.

 

 

In the last years they spent together Kyungsoo would kiss him roughly as he finished practise. With his body still hot, Kyungsoo's kisses felt more ferocious than his usual quiet and steady.

Jongin liked it. He liked the way Kyungsoo pulled on his hair, eating him out of breath with his back against the wall. He liked the feeling of Kyungsoo's skin against his own. How despite this the temperature of their bodies matched against each others', still.

He liked the way Kyungsoo bit his lips and held right to his wrist before dragging him out to their bedroom, never breaking their kisses before tossing him unto the bed roughly.

Those days Kyungsoo took him rougher than he would usually and Jongin took each and every sensation mark his heart.

 

 

Chanyeol gave him a round of applause, large eyes a stage for lights to dance on playfully and jovially. The music faded and it was just him and Chanyeol there in his flat.

"I love how you dance," Chanyeol said.

But Jongin didn't quite process his words. 

He moved to Chanyeol and pushed the other man down on the sofa bed, climbing unto his lap to steal kisses after kisses from him, breathless and hard and fast and desperate, each and every one of them.

"Jongin?" Chanyeol asked unsure.

And Jongin ignored his words and kissed him again and again and again.

Chanyeol's skin was as hot as his was and the way they clashed against one another made Jongin wanted to fight greedily take Chanyeol's for his own. 

"Fuck me?" 

Jongin didn't have the mind for subtlety.

He wanted to burn.

"Wait," Chanyeol pushed him away half-heartedly. "Are you sure?"

"I want it," Jongin kissed Chanyeol again.

Desperate, needy. Hazed. 

His hands wandered up Chanyeol's shirt and his kisses trailed down Chanyeol's neck. 

"No."

Jongin blinked. He faced Chanyeol, confused. "No?"

"I don't know what's going on," Chanyeol put his hands firmly on Jongin's shoulders. "But you're going to regret this tomorrow won't you?"

"I--" Jongin started to protest but was unable to complete his sentence. He relented and sunk on Chanyeol's laps. "Maybe. I don't know."

"I like you," Chanyeol planted a kiss on the bridge of Jongin's nose. "And I'd be lying if I say that wasn't hot but, well, I really like you." 

Jongin smiled awkwardly. "Thanks." 

They remained still for a while, the silence between them drowning any noise from outside.

 

 

Despite that stillness, Jongin dreamt he was running that night. Away or towards, away and towards. 

He woke up late and looked like hell.

He didn't want to do have again. 

 

 

"I'm sorry," Jongin told Chanyeol in the morning as he opened the door to see Chanyeol out of his flat. He had woken up, fully clothed but hot and sweaty next to Chanyeol that morning. 

"That's okay," Chanyeol said. Smiled. "Do you still want to meet next Saturday?"

Jongin took a deep breath. Jongin though.

And felt, that he wanted to see Chanyeol again.

"Not yet," he ended up saying, quiet words overflowed out of him. "I'm not ready for this yet."

Chanyeol smiled, still. He kissed the bridge of Jongin's nose gently.

Jongin let him.

 

 

"Tell me when you're ready?"

 

 

Kyungsoo came into the bathroom to fix up Jongin's collar anyway. He dusted Jongin's clothes. He smiled. It was funny how such a smile gesture could be reassuring coming from the right person.

"You're going to do great," Kyungsoo said, his voice always serious and steady. 

Jongin wasn't sure of that himself. But because it was Kyungsoo, he nodded anyway. 

He let Kyungsoo take his hand, limping weakly into Kyungsoo's tight grip.

"You'll get this role in The Nutcracker," Kyungsoo said in Jongin's ear. "You can believe that right?"

 

 

"Thank you."

 

 

No one rented their old flat.

When Jongin decided to visit after practise one day, the door of his old flat looked exactly the same as it did the day he left, old and badly painted and standing right next to the stairway. The only difference was a piece of white paper with large red letters _FOR RENT_ had been slapped beside it. The paper had frayed edges and was slightly discoloured.

It had been there for a while, but that was to be expected. 

He peeked through the window near the door. There was no curtain covering it, not since Kyungsoo's parents took the off white one they had away, so Jongin could see inside clearly.

It was strangely empty. 

The five years they have spent there was no longer visible. The experts the landlord hired were much better at erasing traces than Jongin ever was.

He stepped back and took a deep breath.

He wanted to go inside, but no longer had a key.

 

 

There were twenty five missed calls on his phone as he got off the stage in their third city for the Christmas performance, ten from an unknown number and fifteen from Sehun. 

None from Kyungsoo, Jongin thought sadly. Since Jongin started the Nutcracker tour two weeks ago, Kyungsoo hadn't contacted him. He didn't think much of it: Kyungsoo was always busy, maybe he hadn't gotten a new phone.

The phone rang once more.

Oh Sehun.

Jongin smiled, amused and wondered what it may be. Probably another adventure in the rival estate agent chapter.

"Hel-"

"Jongin? Thank god you finally answered, where were you?!"

"On stage," Jongin said calmly. "What's up with rival salesperson?"

Sehun went silent. Jongin was about to call out his name again before Sehun managed to find his words. "

"It's Kyungsoo."

The seconds stopped ticking then.

 

 

"Shit!" 

He exclaimed loudly to himself, and the echo of his apartment repeating the word back at him sounded strange to him.

He fished out his phone from the pocket of his shirt. It was just like him to have forgotten it there as he did the washing and, after trying to turn it on several times, Jongin knew it was broken. 

Annoyed, he tossed his red shirt into the yellow laundry basket, the colour bright and obnoxious together.

It was just like him to do this.

He was always the one leaving things in pockets and breaking things.

 

 

"What will you ever do without me Jongin?"

 

 

Sehun asked, half-joking and half painfully truthful, as he brought Jongin sandwiches late at night to the back door of the studio.

As the performance date drew closer, Jongin had been busy with rehearsals. He had been coming back later and leaving earlier and as such, he hadn't seen anyone but his ballet company, the students he taught at his part time job, Doctor Kim Minseok and best friend Oh Sehun, provider of cheap, late night suppers.

He hadn't seen Chanyeol since, and since his phone broke and he hadn't had time to get a new one, he hadn't talked to Chanyeol since either.

"Although I slipped the other ticket through his door," Jongin said.

"Seriously?" Sehun raised his eyebrows. "With a long-ass explanation how you were triggered by the memories of Kyungsoo?"

Jongin shook his head. "I didn't tell him about Kyungsoo."

"Then what does of say?"

 

 

"It only says sorry."

 

 

Jongin held the note in his hand as the police let him in through the yellow tape to collect his official documents. The flat was as clean as Kyungsoo liked it. 

There was no dust, and everything was positioned in perfect order, the mugs in the kitchene, the couch parallel to the television, the yellow laundry basket, empty, sitting on top of the washing machine with the detergent and fabric softener.

But Kyungsoo wasn't there.

They cleared him out, together with the by then empty bottle of sleeping pills, the clear one that was tinted an ugly, medical shade of yellowish brown. 

 

 

"Aren't you that ballet dancer? Kim Jongin?"

Jongin met a short, milky skinned man on his way in one night. It was two in the morning when he got home and it was then that he saw his neighbour two doors away for the first time.

"Baekhyun?" He asked to make sure.

"So Chanyeol did tell you about me," Baekhyun said, although he seemed tired, his voice remained cheerful. "He's worried you haven't been answering his calls. He's on tour as a drummer for this pop singer."

"Oh," Jongin said. He wondered how did he managed to not see Chanyeol for so long. He wondered if Chanyeol was mad at him for the sorry note and the ticket. "My phone broke."

"Ah," Baekhyun nodded, understanding. "I'll tell him you're alive."

Jongin smiled. 

"Yeah, tell him that."

 

 

Jongin unpacked his last box and took out a photo of him and Kyungsoo in an all too cheerful, cheaply made frame. 

He unpacked the photo albums and tucked them inside drawers. Unpacked fake flowers and put them where he could see them, crumpled as they were.

He laughed to himself as he found a pair of chopsticks there. Bright yellow plastic with a picture of sleepy looking bears patterned on it he had forgotten Kyungsoo bought for him a while back as a joke one day from the same store that sold their laundry basket.

It was the one time their chopsticks wasn't plain and sensible looking and Jongin forgot to use it for the longest while. 

Jongin placed it with the red ones he received from Chanyeol, letting the two sets of childish looking adult sized chopsticks sit side by side.

Cracking open a packet of instant noodles, he began boiling water in his newly bought red pot.

 

 

 

 

He arrived early for the opening night of _Don Quixote_. 

From a distance, the theatre they were going to perform in was completely washed over in the orange hue of the late June sunset. It was beautiful, he thought. It was where he could belong in for now, he felt.

The critics lauded their performance for the dress rehearsal yesterday, and there were talks of another nationwide tour.

Jongin fell himself nervous, but as he stood there in front of the theatre he tried his best to convince himself he would be alright tonight.

As he approached, he saw a tall lanky man with a stood in front of the theatre, red headphones resting on his shoulder stood in front of the still closed doors. He gazed at the posters, pacing up and down the stairs. 

Jongin watched him for a while before calling out his name.

He waved, warm and energetic, with that trademark grin of his.

Jongin waved back.

Jongin smiled.

Jongin knew he would be alright tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> The quote in the beginning is slightly changed lyrics from Orange by Tohma feat. Hatsune Miku Append. The story is meant to be set in just a 'generic large city' and not in any particular place. I did however, base it very loosely off the elephant and castle area in london. I haven't written a fic of this length in years and am still surprised I didn't give up halfway on this.


End file.
